meridian_rose

Title: Bargains Are Good But Friends Are Better
Fandom: Da Vinci's Demons
Pairing/Characters: Leo, Zo
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 548
Prompt: For the trope_bingo prompt 'curtain fic'
Summary: Zo points out that Leo has no concept of the value of money or the necessity of haggling for a bargain. Crack.
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply.
Also @ AO3

"Where's the rest of the money?" Leo asked, critically examining the paintbrushes Zo had provided. He tested the fine bristles with his thumb.

"What money?"

Leo glanced at him. "The rest of the money. My change."

Zo folded his arms, laughed. "Seriously?"

Leo put down the paintbrush. "What's so funny?"

"You! For a genius you're a bloody imbecile half the time. Where's my change? You were actually short this time and I had to pay out of my own pocket. You're buying drinks later to make it up to me."

Leo frowned. "What are you talking about? I gave you plenty of coin."

Zo laughed again. "When was the last time you went shopping?"

"Last week."

Zo shook his head. "No, we went shopping, and I ended up carrying all the goods and paying for the goods and haggling for the goods so there would be change. You wandered around, poking at things and criticising them and buying random things. I had to remind you what we were actually there to buy, and I handled the actual purchasing."

"What are you saying?"

"You don't shop, Leo. I can't remember the last time you went shopping. You send me, or Nico, or take what you want from Andrea's supplies. You have no idea how much things cost." Zo sighed. "I know you're an artist and I sometimes think you inhabit some mystical realm where money is meaningless and vegetables present themselves ready prepared for your delectation and paintbrushes rain from the sky when you need them, but honestly, Leo, even you must know it isn't true. Even princes have some concept of the value of coin."

Leo sat down. "You think I'm out of touch with the real world?"

"Yes! I know, Leo, I know you can explain all about gravity and the tides and the migration of birds or whatever. But when it comes to people, to human customs, to the minutiae of everyday life, you're sadly lacking."

A smile tugged at the corner of Leo's lips. "Minutiae?"

Zo grinned. "I was pleased with that one myself."

Leo slapped his knees. "All right. You have shown me the error of my ways. Never let it be said that I am unable to learn and correct my course when needed."

Zo gave him an odd look. "What do you mean?" he asked, with foreboding.

"We're going shopping!" Leo stood and clapped Zo on the back. "You're going to teach me the value of coin, and the art of price negotiation, and the best way to find a bargain."

Zo felt he had no choice but to follow Leo out of the door, but honestly this wasn't what he'd had in mind.

#

Later, after the goats had been captured, and the goose shit had been washed out of their hair, and they had more carrots and tomatoes and charcoal than a family of eight could have used in a month of Sundays, Zo regretted ever bringing the subject up.

For his part, Leo went back to throwing shopping lists at Zo and Nico, and buying drinks at the tavern in lieu of bothering to navigate the market stalls himself. He knew the price of a tankard of good ale and the value of a good friend, and that was sufficient.