meridian_rose

This is actually something that comes up a lot, usually in the form of "You don't ever have sex? Well do you masturbate?" and many asexuals are sick and tired of the question. They reason that it's not the questioner's business to start prying into their personal lives at the drop of a hat, any more than they would say "Oh, you're gay, so which of you is the man/the top?"

While I understand the frustration I do think it is an entirely valid question to want to ask. If it is appropriate – you're friends rather than mere acquaintances, say – it's something that can be respectfully addressed. I think the problem is when, if the answer is "yes", it becomes, "Then why don't you want to have sex with a person, it's so much better!" Again, this is like saying "If you like sex with men, wow, you should try having sex with a woman!" Sexual attraction is not a choice you can casually make and that applies across the whole spectrum of sexual orientation.
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